Next week we have a follow up pre-interview scheduled with both our counselor and the director of social work. It was made quite clear to us that this conversation, like the first, is NOT part of the home study process. The purpose is for all four of us to meet and ensure that, and I quote, "we are all on the same page." Our idea of "on the same page" is knowing full well that God has control over the formation of our family while also being prepared to "make sure" that our family situation does not change after we are matched and that a second child is at least one year older than our (hopefully) future adopted child (per the agency's request). I see no fault in this perspective. We are open to requests presented with compassion. "Judged" is an accurate way of how we're feeling in the wake of seeming hyper-concern over the short minutes we've interacted.
I've be lying if I tried to play this new development off as any thing less than frustrating. Our minds are left with the task of sorting the exchanges we've had with the agency into categories of "fact," "fear," and simply "our interpretation of what what said." Between now and Tuesday we face the challenge of transitioning our minds from their current emotional state to a healthy place of understanding and valuing their due diligence.
God please help us to put emotion and defensiveness aside and enable us to give the agency the benefit of the doubt. Please clearly show us the next steps and help us to be on the same team as the agency as we hopefully move forward. We ask that you be preparing a specific child, designed by you, for our home. Please help us through this unexpected time of stress and "process." Amen.
I'm sorry that you're experiencing this frustration, but I completely understand. Matt and I were there at one point too!
ReplyDeleteI would encourage you to be very open and honest with the counselor and director about how your feeling. They don't always realize how their words can be interpreted or that they can induce stress in the adoptive families. I often felt that I just had to accept what was said because "that's the way it is." There is no reason why you can't question the process, or decisions that are made. You deserve to know exactly why things are happening. It's always the unknown that causes the greatest fear/stress/frustration.
Matt and I are praying that you and Tim experience peace as you meet again with your agency.