Domestic Infant Open Adoption: A not-so-brief Introduction

Happy New Year 2012 to all! After 11 days off from work enjoying time together, with family, and with friends, we are refreshed and ready to start 2012 with enthusiasm.

We have had the benefit of praying about, researching, and witnessing the adoption process for over a year now. Through this time we have gained a lot, ranging from a working knowledge of the general process to an increased awareness of our preconceived notions and assumptions about adoption, many of which have already been significantly adjusted. As time goes on I will share more about our personal growth, but today I'm going to give an introduction to the overall process.

There are many forms of adoption, both domestic and international, open and closed, infant through teenage, agency lead, independent, or through the state, etc. We are pursuing an agency lead, open, domestic, infant adoption. Agency lead means that we have signed up with a private, a non-profit agency that knows the process and will hold our hands all the way from home study through the finalization of our adoption (approximately 1 year after we bring home a child). Domestic means that we will be matched with a birthmother/father who currently lives locally, though neither the birthparents nor the adoptive parents are under any obligation to reside in the area for the long run. Infant means that we are looking to adopt a brand new baby! In many but not all cases the adoptive parents are able to take their child home directly from the hospital, and it’s a possibility that we will be there for the birth. Lastly, open means that as part of the match process we will meet the birthmother/father, continue agreed upon long term contact, and develop a relationship over time. It is completely understandable if this concept of "open adoption" sounds intimidating, since that was our honest initial reaction as well. However, in the past year we've come to see how open adoption in most cases wonderfully benefits all: the birthparents, the adoptive parents, and most importantly the child. I'll discuss open adoption more later.

The basic domestic infant adoption steps with the agency are as follows:
1) Complete the Home study and get approved by the state to adopt.
2) Create a family scrapbook with a "dear birthmother" cover letter that will be provided to birthparents looking to place their child to aid their selection process.
3) Wait. Birthparents working with the agency receive free counseling and needed assistance so they fully understand both the option to parent and to place their child for adoption.
4) Receive a phone call that a birthmother/father wants to meet us! Birthparents are given all family scrapbooks by the agency that meet their criteria, but they are encouraged to only meet one family. The idea is that this meeting is confirmation of their choice and hopefully followed by a placement offer. If the meeting does not result in a match then they would choose another couple to pursue a meeting with at that time.
5) Child is born and comes home with the adoptive family.
6) Birthparents relinquish their legal parental rights within 30 days. At this time the child is technically under the legal care of the agency and the adoptive parents are foster parents. However, at this point the birthparents cannot "take back the child." Unless under extenuating circumstances, the only way the child would be removed from our home is if we behaved irresponsibly as parents.
7) The agency conducts a series of follow-up interviews and home visits with the adoptive family over the next 6 months and then submits the adoption application to the state.
8) The adoption is legally finalized and the adoptive parents become the legal parents of the child. Hooray!

I've added the checklist we are working towards on the side of the blog so you can see the progress we are making. Yes, there is much to do, but it’s very refreshing to start the year excited about a new avenue towards becoming parents. We have some control because we are empowered to work through the process, and this is far less overwhelming than the perpetual 2 steps forward 2 steps back we're used to.

Thanks for being interested. Happy New Year!